Kevin Smith: 20 Questions In Red Bank
Story: Brad Plevyak

Photos: Edward Anastasio

It started with St. Kevin, and it ended in an anal fissure. That’s how it was last night when a sold-out crowd took over the town of Red Bank, NJ, as Kevin Smith took to the stage of the Count Basie theater once again. 20 lucky attendees had the chance to step up to the mic and share a moment with the man of the evening, who celebrated his 37th birthday with a seven hour extravaganza. The waterfront area was buzzing with a kinetic energy, crowd of pedestrians on Monmouth St. (and lack of parking) clearly indicated this was no normal night for this trendy little town. The shady, disheveled woman scalping tickets outside on our way in, discreetly asking “Need a ticket?” on my way in confirmed it — This was the place to be tonight.

Right on schedule, following an introduction from wife Jen and daughter Harley, Smith took to the stage to a chorus of “Happy Birthday”, backed by a projected photo of the man in his MUCH younger years. Lines of hopeful question askers flank both sides of the room, all of whom we’re told lined up immediately, without even seeking their seats, which ranged in price from $25 all the way up to $75 for the best in the place. Without any imposed time limits, and a stocked cash bar in the theater lobby, it’s looking to be a memorable night before the first tale’s even been told.

Zak Knutson, whose Chop Shop Entertainment will produce the DVD based on this event, has things well in hand — Cameras are capturing the question lines, the audience, the stage, the aisles, and a MASSIVE crane rig on stage right is panning both the crowd and all aspects of Kevin and the stage throughout the evening. Knutson’s disclaimer to the crowd to bring their A-game with questions does not go unheeded. But before the crowd had their say, Smith had a monologue to give.

For most past Q&As, Smith’s jumped into the audience within moments — This time, for this special birthday occasion, he’d done some homework — The religious backstory (or lack thereof) of St. Kevin, the saint who bore his namesake. With notes in hand, and humorous observations aplenty, the night (and the crowd) were rolling before the first fan had even walked up to a mic.

By 7:45, the formalities complete and the introduction wrapped, it was time for the first question — One geared towards children’s movies, which led into the first and possibly longest tale of the night — That of the Smith canine clan. The dude can weave a yarn like no other — Tales for the evening ranged in both topic and length: Jay Mewes’ Clerks II enthusiasm. The ups and downs of money and fame. The saga of the ill-fated “Clerks” live-action sitcom (the animated series’ “Outbreak” script dated back this far). Sneaking into a “Catch & Release” test screening. Hearing his name on TV. For almost seven hours, it was all that and so much more, including (as always) those unsuspected audience moments that you just can’t see coming.

An evening highlight featured a fresh tale of the time Smith spent with Bruce Willis on the set of “Live Free or Die Hard”.

Smith wasn’t afraid to throw out candid, even embarrassing stories involving some of the most famous folks in the biz. If these tales told for public consumption are this compelling, one can only imagine how lurid the stuff that CAN’T be shared onstage must be.

Most of the night’s big revelations had been spent up at the San Diego con just a few short days ago. The “Heroes” gig was briefly discussed. We learned that Showtime’s “Manchild” pilot was indeed jettisoned, and won’t see air, due to the network opting for David Duchovny’s “Californication” instead. The surf story that went with it was fresh and hilarious, with Smith remarking the upside being no longer wearing a wet suit or paddling into the shark-infested ocean. The “Die Hard” interview he conducted with Bruce Willis for the eventual DVD ran somewhere from 45 minutes to an hour, though there’s no idea how that will be cut together. Dogma II? Never going to happen, though one day, in comic book form, we could possibly learn what became of some of the original’s characters. The “Evening With” series was never planned to be an “all-Kevin” collection. Other directors were planned to film their own sessions, though the process stalled when some realized they weren’t up to the task.

Smith’s callbacks to previous moments in stories throughout the night kept the audience in stitches, rewarding those who stuck it out for the duration and didn’t miss a beat. For me, the joy of hearing the director speak stems from his inner-geekdom that shines through in these stories. He expresses his love for modern classics like “Terminator 2″, and “Shaun of the Dead”. He makes veiled references to “Arrested Development” and “Goodfellas”. The inner geek in me was absolutely drooling over his recounting of his recent tour through the soundstages of “Battlestar Galactica” (still the best show on television today). Moments like that make me realize why he’s so good to his fans — He realizes what it’s like to totally geek out about something. Much like his Galactica set experience, for those of us to line up to shake his hand, get his autograph, and watch him speak…That’s OUR Galactica set visit. And he gets that. Kevin Smith truly is just, well…”one of us”.

At 1:45 AM, Smith had done what he set out to do — Ending on a high note, with the lurid extended tale of his proctological exploits a couple years back, he thanked the crowd and proclaimed he was “Going to bed”, leaving the still full auditorium cheering and hungering for more. Once again, the man had delivered. The crowd, while hungering for more, left fulfilled and jovial, discussing their favorite moments of the evening. What was this reporter’s? Hard to say, there’s always so many. Though it’s tough to shake that vision of Smith and Willis, kickin’ it on the set of a “Die Hard” film…