We had our Stash Bash time slot on the next day from 4-5 PM. There was a two hour delay but it was more then worth it. While we were out there and at the bowling party too, we got a chance to meet some fellow fans. That was cool for us too, because we met some good people, other then just the people at View Askew. We got to see Brian O'Halloran again as well. He came out and kept us laughing and occupied as we were standing there. Speaking of having to stand there though, I have got to give props to Ming. He stood out there and worked hard to help make this thing happen and he did it with a smile on his face. He is a great guy and yet another View Askew hero in my book.

When we finally got in it was awesome. They treated us like old friends. It was like they were as thrilled to meet their fans as we were to meet them. And more props here to Walt. I have always been a big fan but I have more respect for him then ever after going to the Bash. He worked his ass of behind the counter. I'll definitly be making another trip to the Stash sometime in the near future to buy some more merchandise and visit him.

Jay and Malcolm were walking around in their underwear the whole time. (That didn't seem to suprising to me but it was funny) When I got up there to meet Jay and Kevin I thought I would do something unique and drop my drawers too. (The pic should be with this recap) Most of them seemed to get a kick out of that, aside from Kevin, who was talking to fans and taking pictures and signing autographs the whole time.

I then talked to Kevin, got an autograph and a picture, and then went back up to the front of the store. Shortly after that, Kevin showed us all a teaser for Jersey Girl, the theatrical trailer, and a clip. It looks great, and March 19th can't come quick enough!!

This was such an amazing experience! I would definitly love to go to another View Askew event but even if I never went to one again, I was just so happy and grateful to go to this one!

GOOD LUCK JAY!! And congratulations! I am so happy to see that you are clean and that you are turning your life around! And thank you Kevin and everybody at View Askew. I can't think of anybody in the business that are as generous and love their fans as much as you guys. You guys just keep giving and giving!

I have always thought of you guys as great entertainers, and now great people too, who I have had the awesome privilege of meeting!!

Recap By Vincent Rocca

I head up to the Stash about 45 minutes before my slot. The anxiety is killing me, it’s not that I’m nervous to meet Kevin, I’m nervous to be standing in line with a bunch of strangers. It’s like the first day of school and I gotta make a friend. I’ve always been able to adept to this. At 14, I started a new school in a new town. It was 4th period, just before lunch, and I didn’t want to eat alone, so I turned to the guy next to me, his name was Clint, I asked what he did for lunch and if I could hang out with him. He said “Yes.” I still know him today, and he was actually my best man at my wedding. So, I’m sure I’ll adapt, I’m just nervous about it.

I park and fill the meter with quarters. I figure 3 hours should be enough.

I walk to the Sash and there’s a line of about 30 or so people and about another 20 mulling about. I walk to the end of the line and ask someone if we’re just suppose to get in line. I’m told that I need to get my badge from the front of the line. I go to the front waiting like the new geek in front of class for the teacher to introduce me, and a guy comes out in a yellow jacket, his name is Ming, he asks my time slot, I tell him, and he says I’m early and I’ll need to wait a while. I walk over to the tree and stand there.

There is another guy standing next to the tree holding a camera by himself.

I’m not sure if he’s some quiet comic weirdo autograph hunting geek, or if he’s like me, just a geek. I see this park bench that no one seems to be utilizing, so I sit down. I wait for the tree guy to sorta turn my way, and then I ask if he’s waiting for his badge too. He says yeah and we begin talking, His name is Mike and he turns out to be pretty normal. We sit, chat and survey the crowd.

I notice a lot of girls in line, which strikes me as unusual. I expected greasy comic geeks. Sure there are a few of those, but there are a lot of girls. One catches my eye. She is a pretty blond in her late 20’s wearing tight black pants that show off her amazing ass. I mean really amazing ass.

I later learn that her name is Precious and she is from Texas. I feel like Smeagol and want to covet the Precious ass, but I don’t.

Brian O’Halloran comes out to fuck with the crowd, meet people, say hello, take pics and have some fun. Mike asks if I’ll take his pic with Brian, I say sure, then I decide, what the hell I’ll get mine with Brian too. After all there wasn’t anything better to do. Not that I wouldn’t want my pic with Brian, but I live in LA, and I meet celebrities all the time, so it’s just something I’ve become accustom to NOT doing.

Anyway, Mike takes my camera, I put my arm around Brian and ask him if we should kiss. He’s startled by this. I’m just fucking around, but I do enjoy that he seems uncomfortable. So, I continue, and ask “Don’t you want to kiss me?” Mike shoots the pic of me asking and Brian quickly moves away from me.

They finally let the Precious group in about 30 minutes late. So our group begins to line up. I joke that I’m going to stay out of line, until a pretty girl joins the line, then I’ll get behind her. The guys around me chuckle, but I was partly serious. I now meet Brit aka Tom in line. Yet another nice guy who isn’t a weirdo. I ask both Mike and Brit if they’re going Bowling and they say no. Great, the two people I make friends with aren’t bowling.

So now I’ll have to make new friends again tonight.

I notice a normal athletic jock looking guy behind me and a cute girl on her cell behind him. I ask the jock if he’s going bowling, he says “Yeah”, I say “Good I’ll make friends with you.” He doesn’t even crack a smile at this. So I opened up my stance to try and include him in our conversations, but the normal looking jock turns out to be the quiet weirdo and despite any attempt to involve him with our conversation he remains quiet. Finally I tell him to shut up cause he’s talking too much. He doesn’t get the joke and just tells me that he doesn’t talk much.

A tall guy who looks like Steven Weber from “Wings” walks up and chats with the cute girl who just hangs up her cell. I hear her ask him if he’s going on the tour later. I wonder what the tour is, and how I can get hooked up with it cause I got nothing between this and bowling.

Brian comes out again and tries making fun of the names on the list. After a few failed attempts at humor, a woman comes from across the street and asks Brian if he’ll sign an autograph for her son who's too shy to come over.

Mike had noticed these people, and said they were standing across the street for a while, looking at us. Brian quickly runs across the street and signs his autograph.

A woman, who I’d hardly noticed that is standing behind Mike, kinda to the side of the Jock, and in front of the cutie, is holding a doll of Ben Affleck. I realize that the doll isn’t production made and looks hand done.

So I ask her. She begins talking about the doll and turns out to be a little weird. I guess when your an adult that plays with dolls, you are going to be a little off.

She explains to me that she never use to cuss before she started watching Kevin’s movies and that now she cusses all the time because of them. Her mom won’t watch them because as soon as she hears the word fuck she turns it off.

The doll woman is carrying two boxes, I ask about them and she says that one has a Kevin doll and other has an Alanis Morissette as god doll. She doesn’t seem to want to take them out to show us, and she doesn’t. Finally the cutie shows interest in the doll and gets involved in our conversation. I learn the cuties name is Mechel (Pronounced Michelle).

Ming had been working his way down the line handing out badges and finally made it to us. We show our ID and get issued a badge. Doll woman and my badge both have a red dot on them and we’re told that we’ve won a free T-shirt. Pretty cool. I ask why and am told it was random. I think it’s because of my brilliant essay. So we start discussing essays. My essay included information about my movie, KissesAndCaroms.com and they showed interest in my flick. So I hand out some business cards.

Jennifer, Kevin's wife came out front to smoke a cigarette. Apparently there is no smoking in the Stash, not even for the owners wife. I took a good look at Jen. She is stunning and very statuesque. I’d of course seen her on Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back, but she looked better in real life. I couldn’t believe this woman had children. She is way thin. Must be the smoking, but then, what Kevin's excuse? Speaking of Kevin, I wondered how the hell did he land this babe. Then it occurred to me, that is what everyone wonders when they see my wife. OK, I guess he’s got a 12” personality too.

After a little more chatting a new girl joins Mechel, her name is Maria.

Apparently Mechel was on her cell with Maria guiding her to the Stash. I was introduced to Maria and after a few moments we were escorted in to the Stash.

As we walked in the door of the Stash, standing 3 feet in the door was Kevin. He personally greeted each of us, shaking hands, welcoming us and saying hello. I thought that was the coolest thing. If I was signing autographs, I don’t think I’d have thought of that. I would have just sat in the back, like Jay did, and wait for the people to come to me, but not Kevin. That was so cool of him to do.

We all lined up along the back wall. Jay sat at a table with two chairs and a bunch of sharpies on it. He randomly drew large penises on the table.

After Kevin finished welcoming people he joined us in the back. Except, instead of sitting down next to Jay, he stood at the front of the line and talked with each person, shook their hand again, and autographed whatever they wanted. Tony from Poop Shoot was on hand using peoples cameras to capture their moment with Kevin.

It was my turn. Kevin saw the View Askew letter in my hand and immediately was like what's that? I started to explain that it's my permission slip to use Moobys in Kisses and Caroms and I handed him the letter. He read it. It looked like it was the first time he had ever seen it and I asked him that.

He said that he remembered talking to Gail about it, but he hadn’t seen the actual letter. He signed it then said “You used a girl who had a sort of Jay/Silent Bob thing going on.” I said “Yeah.” So now I knew that he actually had seen my clips. He also said he’d seen the trailer. I asked if he thought it was funny and he replied that he did. Then I inquired, if he thought it was funny enough to give to Miramax and get us distribution. He said that he’d have to see it first. I asked “If I send it to you, will you watch it”, and he said he would. I said “Ok where do I send it”, and he gave me the address to Affleck manor and told me to bring it over on Friday night and we’ll watch it with Jen. Then after the flick the girls will put on a lingerie show for us. Did that get your attention? I knew that would do it.

OK, maybe he didn’t say that, but he did tell me to send it to Gail (His Assistant).

Tony took my camera and at that moment Jay was comming in from the back door so they stood on each side of me and I got my picture taken with both of them. Jay went over and sat down at his table.

I then moved on to Jay and I realized that I had nothing for him to sign.

I’m not an autograph hound and if it wasn’t for the Askew letter I wouldn’t have had Kevin sign anything either. I remembered that the “Steven Weber” looking dude had his badge signed so I pulled mine off and had Jay sign it.

I looked at my signed badge and then I realized it was odd to have Jay sign it, and not Kevin, so I interrupted Kevin and had him jot his signature down on the badge as well.

As I put my badge away Tony inquired about my letter. I told him about it and the movie. Then I learned he writes for Poop Shoot. I told him he should do an article on it, and he gave me a card and told me to contact him. So that was way cool.

I then walked around the store. Ming started talking to Mechel and Maria. I was near by when they hugged, so I put myself in on it, and hugged Ming too.

This must have really confused him, because other then out front in the line, we’ve never met. I then used that as an excuse to hug both girls. This was a flirting ploy to get me in with the ladies. It worked.

Then I purchased some of the super cool Jay & Silent Bob bookends. They run $125.00 and someone said I should get them signed. So I took them to the back and got in line. After a few minutes I got to Kevin and I said “For $125.00, you sign” He didn’t seem to get the joke, but he signed it anyway.

He asked if I wanted my name on it, at first I said “No” (thinking resale on ebay) then I said sure. Like I said before, I’m not an autograph hound so I didn’t know what to say. He then wrote Kisses And Caroms RULES on it. That was pretty cool.

Jay was not at his table, he was out back. So I waited for him.

Kev then started the Jersey Girl footage. I watched the Musical trailer. I really didn’t like that one because it didn’t tell the story. This also made me really realize that my current Kisses And Caroms trailer is just as bad and I need to change it. Then the trailer with dialog ran and it looks like a great movie. It might be Afflecks best work and Liv definitely shines.

I knew nothing of what it was about before today. I had known for some time that Kevin was working on Jersey Girl, but I didn’t even know the flicks tag line. So, I was totally green to this and took it all in for the first time.

The story is Newlyweds Ben and Jennifer Lopez start a new family however she dies while giving birth. Ben then must deal with the loss, change his life and raise a little girl. His friend Liv aids him on his journey to find the proper balance of love, work, and fatherhood.

Two scenes from the movie then ran. Both were funny, dramatic and all around good. I was way impressed. It still feels like Kevin's work, but instead of it being a movie that you watch this looks like a movie that you feel. I’m pretty sure Jersey Girl is how Kev would feel at the loss of Jen. This might be his personal touch that sucks you in to the flick.

Any guy who has ever loved a woman can feel for Affleck’s character.

Immediately, I related to it, the thought of loosing my wife is scary. Hell, I’ve hated being without her for the past two days. I can’t bear the thought of losing her completely.

After the trailer, it was time to go. The next batch of peeps had to come in. I totally forgot people were out there. I felt like we could just stay all day, but apparently that wasn’t the case.

I went back to the table, and Jay came in. He signed my book end, I said thanks and headed up front to pack them up and grab my camcorder and other stuff. Most people had left, but some, like me were taking longer to get out. Jay then screamed from the back of the room, “Get the fuck out.” I chuckled and we left.

Once out front. I grouped up with Maria, Mechel, a new guy Johnny, and the Steven Weber looking guy who’s name is Christopher. Maria had to ditch us because she had something to do, but the rest of us went to have real Jersey Pizza from the pizza place around the corner.

The pizza wasn’t very good, Christopher had shrapnel in his that seemed to be left over from the can opener and mine had too many onions. I was assured by my group that this was not REAL Jersey pizza. This was confusing, because we are in Jersey, so it sure in hell isn’t Cali pizza.

After the Pizza place we decided to head out on our tour. Our first stop was to be the Quick Stop. I drove the rental Kia with everyone in it.

Christopher said he knew the way. Except he got us lost. I had to call the Quick Stop for directions. I dialed then handed the phone off to Christopher for him to get the directions, since he had been there before and was more familiar with the area then the rest of us. He asked what street they were on, which caused us to laugh, we already knew they were on Leonardo, now we needed to know where Leonardo was. We poked fun at Christopher for this, then suggested for him to ask if Dante was working, and if Randal was next door. This, for some reason, caused me to laugh so hard that I got a headache.

He figured out where it was, sort of. After a couple wrong turns and us learning that Christopher had actually been to the Quick Stop earlier that same day, we found it. We quickly jumped out and like Hollywood tourist dorks started taking shots in front of a half lit Quick Stop sign.

A guy put a ladder on the front of the building and opened the sign up to change bulbs. So, no more pictures until the sign was repaired. We went in to get a drink and for me to get 4 200 mg Advils. Ahh, the pain goes away.

When we went back out the bulbs were changed and the ladder was still up so I dared Christopher to climb up it. With a little peer pressure he was going to do it and took off his jacket but then the Maintenance guy gave him a dirty look so he backed out. I suggested Johnny go ask the guy, but Johnny wouldn’t do it alone. So I said fuck it. I go ask him. Johnny tagged along and said nothing to kept his cool as I asked. At first the guy didn’t understand, then I said for a picture, and he said OK. So we walked back across the street. Johnny was giddy and almost got hit by a car. I saved his life by pulling him back.

Johnny was the first one up the ladder, which is odd because I asked if I could go up, and Johnny never spoke a word. After a couple quick shots of Johnny, then Christopher went up. Also odd, cause Christopher never even went across the street and he sure didn’t look like me. Next, would finally be the person who did ask, me, but instead of going, I bowed to the lady, and let Mechel go up. She is afraid of heights and only went up half way, but I did get a good shot of her. Finally I went up, and Mechel got a couple good shots of me.

We then headed back to Red Bank. We toyed with the idea of telling people that View Askew had arranged the ladder for fans and that they should head up to the Quick Stop before it was over. We decided that would be cruel so instead we would tell people that we brought our own ladder.

We saw the masturbating clown form Kevin's roadside attractions and decided to take some shots there. I tried to grab the clowns wanker and Christopher tried to flaunt his own. We egged Mechel to blow the clown but she was too much of a lady. My pic of Johnny on the clown didn’t come out well, so I can’t remember what he did.

After the clown we headed to Memory Lanes to hangout in the Tap Room watch the Yankees loose the series and have a few drinks. We met Lenn and Rich in the bar. They too were waiting for the bowling.

A girl who we’ll call Caitlin Bree, came up to Christopher’s side of the bar to order a drink with her scantly clad friend who would be serving drinks at a makeshift bar in the game room for the Stash Bash.

Caitlin told Christopher that she was going to fuck Jay tonight. She said she loved him and just needed to get drunk first. I was like if you love him why do you need to booze it up first? She didn’t understand that. She had a purse that she made out of a cigar box that she had plastered pictures of Jay all over. It was so cute, very high school crush.

Christopher asked what she was going to say to him and she said she’d walk up to him and say “Let’s fuck”. I asked Caitlin what if Jay wanted to do her and a few other girls at the same time. She said no way, and I was like “Jays a big Hollywood star, he may need more then one of you.” She claimed to be enough for him, and I was like “Maybe your are, but he won’t know that until he does you and he’ll want to bring a few girls back just in case.”

This confused her. She apparently hadn’t thought this all the way through. I then asked if she’d do another girl for Jay. She was reluctant. I told her that Jay might like that, he may want to see his woman doing other women. I could see the drunkenness and confusion build.

She was now standing so close to Christopher that she was practically grinding on his lap. Christopher, I could tell was hating this. I keep looking at Christopher's knee to see if she was leaving snail tracks, but I guess the wetness hadn’t soaked trough.

I then asked her about Anal. She looked at me and said what? I said “Will you take it up the ass for Jay?” She’s like “Not usually, but if that's what he wants.” I asked her if she brought condoms. She said she had one. I said “What if he wants to do it more then once?” She said he’ll have to provide them. I warned her that maybe she should go get more. A girl does need to be prepared.

The bartender girl finally pulled Caitlin off Christopher's leg and took her away. I checked Christopher leg again for snail tracks. Mechel was disgusted with the girl, not appalled or nothing, Mechel isn’t a prude, but you could tell she thought nothing of Caitlin. Truth is neither did I. I thought Caitlin was a skank, but fun to talk to.

As it approaches 10, we find out that we need to go out front and line up.

We head out front and there's this huge crowd. What a bummer. We were the first ones here and now we are way back in the line. It looked like we may not be able to Bowl.

After 20 or so minutes, we got back into Memory Lanes. We saw Jay bowling at lane 1 and Caitlin was near by. Christopher went over to ask the girl if she had met Jay. She had but Christopher introduced them again. Christopher then told Jay about her, and Jay said the girl was psycho. Jay’s probably right, but the crazy ones are the best in bed.

We got lane 22 and added Matt and Kristen to our group. We milled about, chatted and bowled. It was lots of fun.

Brian O’Halloran showed up and took up camp near the Tap Room. A line quickly formed and people waited for autographs. Brian seem to eat the celebrity thing up. I hope he manages to use it to get laid.

Christopher met up with a cutie named Monique that he’d met earlier. He introduced her to me. Maybe that was a mistake. I later learned that I would shock her with things I said. I don’t remember what I said to her, except I do remember explaining lesbian sex, Anal sex and Snail tracks to her.

Christopher took Monique to Jay’s lane to show her Caitlin. I later followed and noticed a smoking hot blonde bowling in Jay’s lane. I was immediately like who's that girl with the great ass. Monique's thought the blonde had a small ass. She asked me if I liked that. I told her that I loved tiny butts.

This way when I invade them anally it seems like I’ll split her in half. I looked at Monique's ass and told her that I liked her small butt too. She said I thought you were married. I said I am, happily, but if I have a choice of chatting with that hottie or talking to Christopher then I’ll choose the hottie.

Monique asked if I would rather talk to a dumb hottie over an intelligent guy. I told her dumb chicks can be fun. She said what about annoying girls.

I was like it depends, how hot are they? Brittany Spears hot? Yeah, I’ll talk to an annoying Brittany over a smart dude any day.

We noticed that Caitlin was now hanging on this Guido looking guy who later turned out to be View Askew security.

We went back to bowl. A few moments later Caitlin was now hanging on Amy Noble and Amy seemed to like it. They were holding hands and hugging. Hum, maybe I should have gotten to know Amy?

Matt and Kristen departed from us. So we added Monique and John (Gramps) to our bowling group. We were having fun. I was bowling so well that at one point my ball flew back out of my hand rolled into the crowd and hit a guy in lane 20. Good Roll!

Finally, after 1:am Kevin and Jennifer show up. Kevin is MOBBED by the crowd. We continue to bowl, at one point I went to hunt Christopher down so he could bowl his turn. He’s near Jen and Amy. Caitlin is now gone and Amy is hanging on Jen. Amy and Jen turn my way to take a photo for a fan. I immediately notice that Jen is wearing the lowest low rise jeans I’ve ever seen. They must be two inches above her crotch. I kid you not. She had to have waxed to wear these things, and to top that off I can’t figure out how she could wear panties with these jeans.

I notice a tattoo on Jen’s belly. It’s the symbol for women. The circle with the line, ya know the one that looks like Nabisco’s logo. I’m fixated with this tat. Tats aren’t normally my thing. But I’m like what the hell does this one mean? Why would she choose the girls symbol? What is she trying to say? Is she into chicks? Should I talk to Kevin about arranging a play date for our wives? I realize I’ve been stareing at Jen ‘s crotch way too long and I should leave before I creep someone out. I go, but this tat remains stuck in my head.

Mechel goes to the rest room, and just after her, Jen and Amy enter. Mechel over hears them and learns what took Kevin and Jen so long to show up.

Apparently, Jen told Kevin that her girl symbol tat is water soluble and Kevin's been trying to lick it off. He spent hours at it, then they realized the time and were late. Can’t say I blame him.

2:am rolls around and most people file out. We lag around, cause we have nothing better to do. Caitlin is still there and Jay is finishing up his game. When Jay is done he leaves. Caitlin begins to cry. Maybe she really is Psycho. I’m guessing that she thought that when Jay saw her. It would be love at first sight, and he’d say “Oh, my god, you’re the one.” Well, that didn’t happen.

Mechel, Christopher, Ming and I chat for a bit. Ming comments on Mechel’s belly chain. I tell Ming that Mechel isn’t wearing panties. Mechel chuckles as Ming looks surprised. A moment later Mechel looks away and under his breath, Ming asks me how I know that. I shrugged and said I just do. It’s so funny, I know he’s now trying to figure out if I’m nailing Mechel.

We leave Memory Lanes and head back to the Stash for everyone to get their cars. Christopher and Mechel are dead tired and don’t want to drive the hour back to their houses. I offer for them to crash in my room. I tell them I have two double beds and I got it that way on purpose, incase I met someone who needed a room. Christopher had to get up early to spend the day with his son and Mechel was going to take me site seeing in NY tomorrow. So it seemed to make sense. They accepted and came back to my hotel.

When we got there Christopher almost immediately fell asleep and said that I saved his life. He didn’t think he could make it home. So now I saved Christopher's and Johnny's life and I get to spend the night with Mechel. Not a bad evening.

Pulp Fiction was on HBO, we start watching it. Christopher was going to sleep on the floor, but Mechel was kind enough to share the bed with him.

That kinda sucked. it was my hotel room, and I offered it up, but Christopher gets to sleep with the cutie. How did I get the short end of this deal?

I explain to both of them that I have two weird rules. First, was I sleep with the TV on. Second, I’m a water conservation nut, and we’d have to shower together to save water. Since Christopher would be gone before Mechel and I woke up, then it would be just Mechel and I taking the shower.