I should begin my Vulgarthon story with Sunday morning, when I drove down to the Secret Stash to pick up my tickets. I arrived way too early and had to wait for the store to open. I wound up talking to Langston and Ben from one of the Carolinas and Jim from Michigan (okay, I hope those were their names, but I now have some doubt. If I got your name wrong, sorry guys). Jim informed me of the 10 hour parking meters at the far end of the parking lot, which helped, so I didn't have to run back to my car every few hours to put more cash in the meter.

The Stash opened and we made our way back to Vincent. I must say, I was flattered when I didn't have to show ID because Vincent remembered me. I felt special. After getting my tickets, shirts, a Banky hat for a friend, and an Ash action figure for myself, I headed back home for the day. Around 8 in the morning, I picked up my companion for the day, Cian (pronounced See-on). I joked that she should wear a Catholic School Girl outfit. I didn't think she was actually going to wear one. I was wrong. A little after 9, we arrived in at the theater. As we walked past the line, Cian heard someone calling my name. It was Glen, one of the travelers from England. He wanted to buy a copy of my book off me, so I sent him a picture so he'd know what I looked like. And thanks to him, I managed to sell the other copy I had on me to that nice couple from Ohio whose names escapes me. While in line, I got the pleasure of meeting Drunken Uncle Hal, who had come up to Cian to get her to sign his notebook for Edie. It was something about continuing the tradition she had started at the first V-thon by wearing a Catholic School Girl outfit. Some other random guy also came up over to get a picture of her. And she thought she might not be liked. I'm glad you all made her feel welcome.

Cian and I managed to get a picture with Kevin as we walked in the theater. As always, Kevin managed to give one of the friendliest welcomes I've ever received.

Since we were in theater one, we watched Dogma first. To be honest, I liked this version a lot more than the final theatrical cut. I still love the end product, but I wish this longer version would be released in its entirety, not just the clipped scenes in the supplemental section of the special edition DVD.

Kevin's Q&A with Lee and Mewes was fun, just as it always is. I'm sure I'm not alone in thinking Lee's impression of London was the highlight of it. Before Drawing Flies began, I was able to run into Lynch while looking for the 2nd floor bathroom and also, get a picture with Lee outside. I then quickly made it back to the theater for the start of the film. I had missed Drawing Flies at the last V-thon because I had to get home, and I've been regretting it ever since. Nearly three years later, I was finally able to see it. It was worth the wait. Malcolm made a terrific first film (but take whatever I say with a grain of salt, I love anything Lee does. Just kidding, Malcolm, I liked it). The Q&A was informative and introduced me to Malcolm for the first time, since I knew little about him prior to it. Even though I had seen it twice in the past, A Better Place was still my most anticipated film at V-thon. I had been telling Cian about it for quite some time and was so happy she would be able to see it. There's not much else to say, the film is amazing. I grow fonder of it with every viewing. The Q&A was what I expected it to be, Vincent giving good answers while Lynch would do or say something to draw attention to himself.

I talked with Lynch a little more after the Q&A and got a picture with him as well. I asked Vincent for a picture when he wasn't busy, and when that time came, Rob Dipatri was around, so he was in the picture too.

Cian and I were not very hungry when the intermission started, so we spent the time walking around Red Bank and taking pictures of the most random things.

When the show started up again, Kevin revealed the surprise flick to be the four unaired episodes of the Clerks cartoon. I was glad to be able to watch the episodes with an audience. There was something about being with a large group of people and laughing almost in unison. BTW, did anyone else think that the little league episode was the best of all six produced. I think that the only thing that could be able to top it would have been that episode Kevin described about KITT.

Finally, at the end of the long day, we were welcomed by Big Helium Dog. I don't think I've ever seen a funnier intro to a film. Lynch outdid himself. I doubt the film will ever make it to the theaters, but I do see it becoming one of those "must-rent" films everyone gets into.

All and all, I had a great time and I'm sure Cian did too. God, I'm really corrupting that girl. First, I bring her into comics, now, the View Askew world. So much for a normal life for her. Thanks to everyone involved. You never let me down.

Randall J Lotowycz
Not So Somber

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